I’ve always dreamed of visiting the Conveyancing Masters, high up on the Himalayan mountains, in their sacred monastery, but it was nothing like I expected. After a five day trek up the mountain, I entered the building expecting a minimalist monk’s haven. Instead, I was met with… a day spa. The sacred place that all conveyancers dream of visiting is just a lodge filled with pools of hot water. Not that I was complaining, but I thought it would be more monk-esque, I suppose.
After taking my initial look around, I approached the front desk, where a woman with a name badge that said ‘Jessica’ waited for me. “Am I in the right place?” I asked. “I’m looking for the Conveyancing Masters.”
Jessica gave me a wide smile and said, “Yes, right this way.”
“Isn’t this supposed to be a monastery?” I asked.
“It used to be.” Jessica moved around the desk and led me toward one of the many spa baths. “A few months ago we went on a company retreat. We loved it so much that we decided to remodel the entire building so that we could be on holiday all the time.”
We arrived at a large pool of steaming water, in which sat two elderly men, wearing bathing suits. Jessica turned and walked back to her desk, leaving me standing before them.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” one of the men asked. He had a big handlebar moustache but was completely bald otherwise. “Get in the spa.”
“What, now?” I looked down at myself, realising that I hadn’t brought any bathers. “I’m still in my travel clothes. I’ll boil in there.”
The other Conveyancing Master shrugged. “Suit yourself. You may stand there. Now tell us, why have you come?”
I leaned up against the edge of the spa and they seemed to take no issue with that. “I work at a conveyancing firm near Prahran, in Australia. I want to know how to become the best at my job like no one ever was.”
They said that they could help me, but I was forbidden to share the secrets I learned. So, unfortunately, that’s as much as I can tell you about my trip to see the Conveyancing Masters.