Driving Around Australia

I’m gearing up to beat the world record for the shortest amount of time that it’s taken someone to drive around Australia. As it stands, the record is 5 days, 13 hours and 43 minutes and I’m in a better position than anyone to be able to beat it.  I’ve only taken a week and …

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Clown Dentists?

So my friend, Todd, has decided that his new business venture will be in dentistry. I thought that was a great idea when he first pitched the idea to me (it’s certainly better than his rock opera), but then he mentioned something about clowns. I had to stop him there. What do clowns have to …

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Expensive Car Service

Two days on from finding my girlfriend with another man and I have not yet recovered. The last time I saw her was in my rearview mirror as I was speeding as far away from the scene of the crime as possible. She had her hazards on and was pulled over to the side of …

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Embarrassing Car Service

There’s nothing better than Friday afternoon. The office is buzzing with talks of weekend plans, people are getting restless looking at the clock and the drinks start flowing at 4pm. With the weekend on the horizon, everyone is in a good mood. It’s pretty elite. This Friday started out great, just like all the others. …

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Painting Outside

I think it’s time that Bret and Jemaine asked their landlord if they can paint the outside of their apartment building. I get that they may be a little uncomfortable with that, but I think the drab grey colour is really draining their creativity. It’s hard enough living in Melbourne as a couple of New …

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Visiting Dr Comfort

Today I’m visiting Dr Comfort! He’s very busy, so it’s been quite difficult to get an appointment, but I hear he’s the best around. I have a few foot issues that I’d like to discuss because they’ve been bothering me for a while now. I’ll update this post once my appointment is over, to let …

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Nuclear Taste Testing

Perhaps it’s time I got out of this job, for my own health. There are only so many years you can spend in nuclear taste testing before it gets too much. At this point, I’m legally blind, have three ears and a tail. No doubt there will be more mutations to come if I stay …

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Future Plans Ruined

Well, this kind of sucks. I had all these big plans for how my life was going to go, but with the latest developments in the world, I don’t think that’s going to work out. It’s just disappointing, you know? I’m currently in grade ten at school and I had everything planned out. It’s the …

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Friend Is Possessed

I think my friend might be possessed. By what, I’m not exactly sure, but it goes by the name of Garthablog the Twenty-Seventh. Isn’t that the name of the antagonist from the upcoming fantasy series, the Giggle McWiggle Chronicles? I might be remembering it wrong. I haven’t read one of Augustus Bland’s blog posts in …

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