Nuclear Taste Testing

Perhaps it’s time I got out of this job, for my own health. There are only so many years you can spend in nuclear taste testing before it gets too much. At this point, I’m legally blind, have three ears and a tail. No doubt there will be more mutations to come if I stay much longer. The thing is, I don’t know what sort of job I could go into these days. I don’t have any qualifications and can’t work in any food industry job, as part of my current contract. 

I suppose I should tell you a bit about what my job entails, and how I got here in the first place. For the record, this is not the job I was advised to go into when I received student career advice near Melbourne three years ago. The lady at my school actually suggested I be a chef, and for a while, I tried it, until I lost my apprenticeship for incorrectly peeling a banana. From there, the only job I could get into was this one.

Now, what do I actually do? It’s pretty simple. I taste food to see if it is suitable for human consumption. There’s a catch, though. All the food I test has been exposed to mass-nuclear radiation. Why? I don’t know. Whenever I ask, they just tell me that it’s to make the food “glow real good”, which is supposed to be appealing somehow? I wouldn’t trust any of this food if I saw it in a supermarket.

Perhaps I should get career counselling close to Melbourne again. Is there much of a point, though? What kind of job would accept a legally blind, three-eared, tailed man? Am I doomed to be unemployed or work in nuclear taste testing for the rest of my life? I’m a mutant. A freak. I know that, and yet I hope that someday I might be able to escape this life. I can only hope there’s a bright future out there for me, even if it means I’m working in garbage removal.