Romero and Julia

As far as rushed weddings go, that was one of the better ones. Not that I’ve ever been to a rushed wedding, let alone been the groom at one, but I assume there are worse ways to get married than out of frustration in an abandoned burger restaurant on a 40-degree day. Okay, maybe there aren’t many worse ways to get married than that, but it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.

After our big argument about air conditioning, Canberra as a city, and getting married, Julia and I walked back to Frier Laura’s abandoned restaurant, and to our surprise, he already had everything set up for the wedding. There was a lovely dress made of leaves for Julia, while I was able to recycle a tent into a makeshift suit. Once dressed and at the counter, I turned to Frier Laura and said, “How did you know we would come back?”

“You just get a feeling about these sorts of things, from time to time,” he said.

“Wait,” I asked, “you are a certified marriage celebrant, aren’t you? This wedding is legally binding?”

Frier Laura nodded humbly and said, “Sure, I’ve got a marriage certificate and everything.”

I went to question him further, but suddenly Julia burst out, “It’s so hot in here. Can we put on the air conditioning?”

That was when Frier Laura explained he was still waiting for an air conditioning service. Canberra has always been quite the busy city, and wait times are sometimes a frustration. Anyway, no air conditioning. It didn’t matter. Once the ceremony was done, Frier Laura cooked up some burgers for the reception. We ate them together at one of the old restaurant’s booths. It was a nice moment, but I’m worried that Julia is upset with me. Surely this wasn’t the wedding she wanted.

Maybe I should have told her that I managed to get phone reception the other day. Just for a few minutes, but I saw that Julia’s dog was getting married too. I didn’t want to say anything, because I’ve been enjoying our trip together. But would she have wanted to go home, had she known?

– Romero Monologue