Solar System Deeds

This new business of mine is doing great. Who knew that people would be so interested in buying solar systems across the galaxy when we can’t even travel to them yet? Do they consider it an investment? 

Today I sold the Sol system to somebody called lam Knot Allen Overlord. Mr Overlord might have an odd name, but that doesn’t change the fact that I make a living from the comfort of my living room. All I had to do was sell them on the idea of commercial rooftop solar. Melbourne folk will buy anything. My website’s been getting all this weird traffic though, from people who want to buy solar panels. I never claimed to sell those.

What would you even do with a commercial solar system? What exactly would make it so commercial? Is it like a commercial airport, but for the entire universe? It’s a risky stock to invest in, particularly when we haven’t discovered extraterrestrials yet. Will we ever have advanced space travel? It’s a question I might never have answered. So too is the question of why people want to buy a commercial solar power calculator from my website. What would that do? Measure the size of your growing empire’s influence and political power? I mean, I guess that could be a useful tool if you’re going for galactic conquest or something.

Of course, this could all come back to haunt me if we do get that whole faster than light travel thing sorted. My business could cause a few diplomatic conflicts if these Certificates of Solar System Ownership fall into the wrong hands. Imagine if the United States Space Force travelled to a nearby system, only to discover that it was already owned by the Russians because I sold it to them. Maybe I should start doing background checks, making sure this Mr Overlord fellow is completely legit.