So my friend, Todd, has decided that his new business venture will be in dentistry. I thought that was a great idea when he first pitched the idea to me (it’s certainly better than his rock opera), but then he mentioned something about clowns. I had to stop him there. What do clowns have to do with dentistry? That’s when he explained the idea properly, and I knew it was as terrible as all his other schemes that fail horribly. Somehow, Todd has never managed to get himself sued, despite millions of dollars in damages over the years. I guess he’s just a loveable guy that nobody could take to court.
Anyway, Todd told me that in order to make it in the dentist business, you need to offer artistic dentistry. At least, that’s what he had learned through his online research. But I knew what he actually meant, even if he didn’t realise it. I tried to tell him that artistic dentistry isn’t a thing and that he needed to offer aesthetic dentistry, but he wouldn’t listen. “I started thinking,” he said, “clowns are technically artists, so if I get clown dentists, that’s artistic dentistry right there. It’s genius!”
Oh, Todd. You’re a sweet, precious soul, but some of your ideas are truly terrible. I mean, imagine just how terrifying that would be. You head to what you think is the best Bayside dentist, wait by the reception, then go into the dentist’s office. You sit down on the chair, expecting a professional dentist, only to be greeted by a clown. I think I’d be heading straight to the hospital with a heart attack. Maybe this dentistry should double as a hospital for that reason.
I hope Todd sees sense soon because this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I care about my friend, and I don’t want him to get in hot water because he thought that dentists with white makeup and big shoes was a good idea.