The Driving Stuntman

This is it. The greatest stunt of my career. I can’t be sure that Bessie or I will survive, but we have to try. The people, they’re out there, waiting to be blown away by our show. Avoiding missiles while driving? They’ve seen us do that a thousand times already. Driving over shark tanks with only a thin layer of breaking glass between us? Boring. No, we need something epic. It could prove to be our last show, but we’ll go out in style. What else would you expect from Darius ‘Courage’ Johnson?

The auto electrician near Seaford thinks we’re ready to go, and that’s good enough for me. If he deems Bessie ready to drive, I trust him, as I have many times before. Shall I tell you about the stunt, then? It begins with a long lap of the racecourse; a simple warm-up. Get the audience thinking this will be a show just like the others. That’s when the tornado comes. It will be controlled, proving no threat to the audience. It will be a threat to me, though. I will have to dodge the tornado for a full five minutes, before it sucks Bessie and I up. We will temporarily fake our deaths, crashing hard to the ground as the tornado disappears. My car mechanic – who is also my manager – thinks that nothing could go wrong. Even after thirty years, he has never been wrong about our safety. My car’s basically in perfect shape.

The tornado? That’s still part of the warm-up, by the way. Next come the rings of fire, which we will have to drive through. It will take complete commitment and top speed to get through them in time; before they shrink to a size that will leave me with third-degree burns. After that, Bessie and I will be shot out of a cannon, then shot with a cannon. Once all that’s over, we’ll be ready for the real stunt. 

Oh, you thought I’d reveal it here? No! For that you’ll have to come to the show. See you there!