Wizard Woes

I never thought I’d need to call for air conditioning repairs, but here I am flicking through a Book of Local Tradies that I conjured with the flick of my wrist. Even though we’re getting toward winter, I still need my aircon working, because it gets really warm underneath my wizard robes, which I’m not allowed to take off under any circumstances, according to the Secret Wizarding Act 1881.

Now, theoretically, I should be able to fix the air conditioner on my own, using, you know, my magic. But it simply isn’t working! I cast technico fixture-o and a variety of different effects happen each time, and none of them are what I intend. This morning the system turned into a toad. A bit cliche, I know, but it’s not like I can control it. It was better than yesterday, when the whole thing became bright pink and grew wings, then tried to escape through the window. That’s why I’m looking for aircon repairs in the Melbourne area.

It’s not that the spell isn’t working, because my microwave broke the other day and I was able to fix that without turning it into a newt. It’s got something to do with the air conditioner. Technico fixture-o only works on non-sentient things, but it’s not like that should be a problem here. As if an air conditioner could be sentient! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. So I don’t understand what’s going on. Maybe my wand is broken, or it just doesn’t like air conditioners. Nonetheless, I need to call this number and ask if they’re a business that provides air conditioning maintenance. From Melbourne to Bangkok, I’ve never heard of a wizard who couldn’t fix his own air conditioner. It’s so embarrassing! And when the repairman gets here, he’ll see my robes and know that I’m a failure of a wizard. 

What if word gets back to my old school? There’s a reunion next week. Oh, I don’t think I’d be able to go if anybody knew about this. Maybe I’d be better off just casting a Harold’s Giant Ice Cube spell and standing near that instead.